


How many eggs will it take for him to crack

by Uwuegwnqtv



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: ADHD, Angst, Crying, Egg drop, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Markiplier Makes, Sad boi, just thought I should put it in the tags in case, not detailed mentions, very very brief mention of suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26787340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uwuegwnqtv/pseuds/Uwuegwnqtv
Summary: Ethan's been home alone. Kathryn's away visiting family. The impacts of forgetting to eat and sleep are revealed during a Markiplier Makes video. He isn't vibing.ADHD is a bitch. :(
Relationships: Mark Fischbach/Amy Nelson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is based on the Markiplier Makes Egg Drop video. I saw a video showing how Ethan was actually having an adhd episode throughout the video. It was sad and relatable. I recommend watching it.

He forced his heavy eyes open, rolled over and turned off his blearing alarm. He got out of bed and the world started tilting slightly, he held the edge of the side table to stabilise himself. Whilst sluggishly getting ready he tried to roughly calculate how much sleep he’d gotten. 2 hours? He’d been finding it really difficult to be productive the past few weeks and even harder to get to sleep at night. He checked his phone and quickly his eyes widened. Adrenalin pumped through his body. He was going to be late.

Running out the house and into the car he almost tripped over his own feet. He slammed the door shut and started his journey to Mark’s house. 

+++

“For a second there I thought you weren’t going to show up Ethan”, Mark laughed.  
Ethan’s stomach sunk, “Sorry.”  
“Dude. I was just joking”, he smiled then moved closed to Ethan and spoke softly, “You ok man?”  
Ethan gave a thumbs up.  
“Ok let’s start the video then!”


	2. A fragile eggshell starts to crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer chapter to make up for the weak ass beginning

“Welcome! To… Markiplier Makes… Egg… Hold… Safety… Net… Basket?... Tower… Pile… Egg Drop… catcher.”  
Ethan had already zoned out. He was trying so are to focus then found himself looking at a speck in Mark’s hair. He couldn’t hear his surroundings and had become completely oblivious towards them. The little speck was so… aggravating. So naturally, he removed it.  
"... What are you doing?"  
They all laughed.

Mark continued to explain what they would be doing in the video but Ethan couldn't hear him. He was in his own world. Well rather out of the real world. completely zoned out. He was in some sort of liminal space between reality and zoned out. It was harder to keep still when he felt like this. Tapping his leg, rubbing his eyes and fidgeting with his hands. There were brightly coloured materials being dumped on the table right on top of the-  
“Careful of the eggs!”, He yelled.  
He scanned his eyes over the materials.  
“What’s that?”, Ethan didn’t realise he said it out loud.  
“Idk… a masterbader?”  
They all laughed immaturely again.  
There were more materials on the other side of the room. “Ethan, get it”, Tyler pointed to the materials.  
“Ugh, I can’t”, he groaned as he stood up to retrieve the other supplied. He stood up too fast, once again, and had to steady himself before getting the basket of materials and placing it on the table.  
Mark was explaining some more rules while Ethan stared at the cylindrical container of rubber bands. He nodded along as if he was listening. All he could think about was a shock mount. That was what he’d make.  
Mark handed him a green squishy dog-like toy. He stared at the orbs floating around inside it. It was smooth yet sticky. It felt gross.  
“This is gross… and sticky”, Mark cringed.  
“Yeah”, all agreed.  
“Oh there’s a little squid in it!”, Mark exclaimed. There was a childish innocence that laced his words and coated his expression.  
“Oooh a squid?”, Ethan leaned closer to get a better look at it.  
Ethan, Mark and Tyler sat there staring at the little squid disguised within the squishy sticky creature.  
Ethan blinked himself out of his zoned-out state, “Alright are we ready?”

+++

They had three minutes to create an egg catcher. How long is three minutes? It seems to go so much faster in a challenge. Ethan who was so set on his shock mount idea had forgotten the instructions. He was adamant on making his creation.  
“How much time do we have?”, he asked.  
Amy: “A minute 30”  
Mark: “Oh geeze”  
Ethan had spent half of his time hyper focussed on trying to find the end of the florescent duct tape. He could have sworn only 30 seconds had gone by.  
Ethan could hear Mark’s creation explode.  
Mark: “Oh fuck! That was all part of the plan…”  
Amy: “One minute”  
Ethan: “NO!”  
Everyone’s hearts began to pump faster. Adrenaline and pressure serving as motivation and fuel. Ethan had a sinking feeling in his stomach. His idea wasn’t working out at all. He had failed. He was a failure. As usual. He always failed the challenges and the worst part was that he actually tried. Sure he would exaggerate some things for humour but this time he was genuinely disappointed in himself. At least his hadn’t fallen apart. It was just a stupid challenge after all. It even kind of resembled what he was aiming for. The excitement and determination had built up and was planning to stay.  
A rubber band popped off.  
Ethan: “Fuck”  
Amy: “10”  
He was going to finish. Even if it was impossible he was completely stuck on this idea.  
Amy: “5.. 4… 3… 2… 1… Time”  
He tried to stick his last piece of tape down. Another band popped off.  
“Fuck”, he whispered.  
Mark: “You’re done. You’re done. What?”  
Ethan: “I was trying to make a shock mount!”  
Mark: “A Sho-“  
Mark and Tyler started laughing hysterically.  
Mark: “We are building the CATCHER!”  
Ethan: “OOOOOOOH”  
They were all laughing. Ethan’s face was going red. He was embarrassed but tried to laugh it off.  
Mark: “Alright so you built your…”  
“It doesn’t even- The bottom fell off”, Ethan laughed.  
Tyler was still hysterically laughing.  
Mark: “Yeah, well-”  
The light-hearted joy started to dissipate and was replaced by slight frustration. Frustration at himself for, once again, being a complete failure.  
“Hold on I get to put this back inside”, his tone was slightly defensive, “because it did just fall off just now.”  
He glanced over at the creations made by Mark and Tyler. They actually made the correct thing. He grew more frustrated with himself. His cheeks were flushed red and the tips of his ears felt warm. The hope and excitement that had filled him to the brim had been abruptly replaced by emptiness. A hollow feeling of disappointment.

He was trying really hard to listen. His eyes trailed off to the side and he saw his shitty creation. Without thinking he grabbed it and started working on it.  
Amy: “Ethan, what are you doing?”  
Ethan: “I- I don’t know”  
He really didn’t. It was impossible to stay focussed on the right thing. It made him feel stupid and dumb. He was an adult. Why can’t he just act like one?  
Mark suggested that Ethan could fix his creation in the next round. “Yeah, that’s what I was going to do”, his tone slightly aggressive.  
He continued.  
Amy: “Ethan has started”  
He didn’t even realise. He felt bad. He hated disappointing himself but hated letting down others more. Sadness started seeping through his skin.  
“I’m sorry- I’m- I- I’m- I- I’m… crushed”, he smiled at the end to play it off as a joke. 

Amy: “3… 2… 1… GO!”  
Ethan was mumbling to himself as he worked. There was a vibrant blue and yellow object which caught his attention. Mark was holding one of the strangest items Ethan had ever seen. He laughed. Then got back to work. He just had to focus. Why was it so difficult?  
The rubber bands kept snapping and popping off of his creation. Each snap, pop and distraction increased his frustration and decreased his attention to detail, thus increasing his carelessness and causing a cycle. Eventually he yeeted his ‘shock mount’ to the side of the table.  
“Gone. I don’t- I can’t.”, he could barely piece his sentences together.  
He grabbed the orange fluffy thing. What was it? Not important. He knew what he was going to do. And then, just like that, he forgot. He paused. What was he doing again? He threw the orange thing away and looked around desperately at the supplies. He blinked. What was going on? What was he doing again? Panic was building up in his chest and making its way up to his throat. He continued to look around frantically. He couldn’t decide what to do. He was trying.  
“Ah.”, he whispered.  
There was too much going on. Too many options. Not enough time.  
“Ah.”  
“Indecision will get you nowhere friend.”, Mark chuckled.  
Ethan barely processed the joke. He leaned over to grab the- no. He wanted the pillow- no. He wanted- no. He didn’t know what he wanted. The panic continued to rise up to his throat.  
He slapped the table.  
An impulse.  
There was too much going on.  
Something. Anything. He grabbed the orange thing and started to cut it. Why? What was he doing? He tossed it aside. Hands on head.  
“Just breathe”, he thought.  
But it was hard and there wasn’t enough time.  
“Then just fucking choose something you idiot!”, he scolded himself internally.  
“AAH”, he was frustrated but panicking but also confused but disappointed but most of all just overwhelmed.  
“I don’t know what to do… I’m-a-lost!”, Ethan was getting frantic now.  
“I’m-a-lost”, Mark imitated.  
“I’m-a-lost”, Ethan repeated.  
“You wimpy baby”, Mark added.  
“Half way”, Amy said.

Mark and Tyler were talking about something, but all Ethan was focused on what taping his shock mount together. He was getting more frustrated. He could feel the tears edging closer.  
“I hate this game.” He felt defeated. “Oh! I could have done it a different way”, he sunk in his chair.  
Amy: “Time’s up!”  
Ethan leaned backwards and sighed. He slammed his elbows on the table a bit harder than planned. Holding his head in his hands he made a strange noise. A sad sigh? [honestly idk how to describe the sound]. It shocked both Tyler and Mark who, upon hearing the noise, sharply turned towards Ethan. They looked concerned but laughed it off.  
“Jesus Christ man!”, Mark paused, “Are you crying?”  
Ethan looked up. There were tears resting on the edge of his eyes, threatening to spill over. He inhaled deeply, “close”.


	3. The yolk bleeds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short ass chapter. I apologise. I'm breaking it up in a way that timing makes more sense. Well I'm trying.

Mark started to explain his creation to the camera. Ethan stared down. Ashamed. His cheeks were flushed red and tears were almost falling down his face. He tried to avoid them racing down his cheeks by not blinking. He had once again failed. The hollowness grew. Why was he even there? He was useless. Were they keeping him there because they felt bad for him? He started fiddling with a piece of tape whilst his thoughts got the best of him. They kept swirling around his brain and reminding him how useless he is, how he’s a disappointment to everyone, he can’t do anything right.

There was an awkward silence for a few seconds as everyone turned towards Ethan.  
“Mine is… a failure.”  
He smiled uncomfortably at Mark.  
“You didn’t even finish- Wha-”, Mark started giggling.  
At this point he considered just walking out of Mark’s house and going home. Only briefly did this thought flash in his mind.  
“I don’t wanna talk about it”, he was beyond embarrassed as tears started to trace his face.  
Mark: “Well maybe it’ll work. You never know.”  
Ethan: “Next”  
Ethan just wanted to get this finished. He was making a fool of himself. Everyone laughed. Even Ethan. He was just overwhelmed and embarrassed. It was a good diversion to wipe his eyes.


	4. Shattered shell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a brief (very brief) mention of sort of suicidal thoughts.  
> Nothing detailed. Just wanted to say in case ya know. Stay safe.

Ethan stood on the balcony. Wind blowing his hair gently and sending chills down his spine. He wanted to smash the egg. He wondered briefly what would happen if he just jumped. It wouldn’t kill him. Would it? Would they care?  
His thoughts were interrupted by Amy, “How you feelin?”. That was the thing that made him crack. He tried so desperately to hold it together but merely stood there, trembling slightly, looking at Amy whilst tears spilled over the dark circles under his eyes and over his red cheeks.  
“I- I’m- Amy I tried. I promise”, he said between shaky breaths.  
“Oh. Ethan…”, she was seized by a moment of panic and froze for a second but quickly gathered her thoughts, “Do you want a hug?”.  
He nodded and outstretched his arms. Amy put her camera down and wrapped her arms around him. She could feel his chest rising and falling sharply and his body shaking.  
They stayed in silence. She had one arm around his torso and one hand holding the back of his head. She played with his hair. Ethan didn’t want to let go. He felt that if he let go she’d leave and he’d be all alone to wallow like a child throwing a tantrum. He felt pathetic and vulnerable.  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I-”  
“Ethan you didn’t do anything wrong.”


	5. I've run out of egg puns

Mark and Tyler were wondering why Ethan was taking so long so they did a bit of improv for the cameras. They both ended up hysterically laughing.   
Tyler: “Ethan’s cheating. He’s probably making another creation as we speak.”  
Mark: “Not that it would work anyways.”  
Again, they both laughed uncontrollably.  
Mark looked up at the balcony and yelled, “Hey Ethan? You really are taking your goddamn time! Are you cheating?”  
There was no response. The laughing had died down as they listened for an answer.   
“Stop cheating you fucking… cheater!”, he yelled playfully.  
“Not right now Mark”, Amy retorted, her tone a bit harsher than what was intended.  
It shocked Mark. Most things left him unfazed, but he really loved Amy. She literally meant the world to him and to be scolded by her kinda hurt.  
An awkward silence was followed by incomprehensible and mumbled whispers from Amy. Then softly they heard it. Ethan’s shaky breathing and slight whimpering. Everyone froze when they heard it. Mark turned towards Tyler who raised his arms and eyebrows slightly. Mark shrugged. Neither of them knew what to do. 

Mark cautiously made his way to the wooden steps leading up to the balcony. He started to pick up his pace, 2 steps at a time. His heart was starting beat faster. Was someone hurt? Did something happen?  
“Ethan? Amy?”, he called out halfway up the steps.  
No response.  
“Ethan?”  
He was almost at the top of the steps, Tyler a few steps behind him.   
He reached the top, “Is everyone ok? We heard someone cr-”.  
There was a thud behind Mark. This was followed by more thuds and some grunting and various phrases such as “fuck”, “ow” and “shit”. He turned around to see Tyler sprawled out, like a starfish, at the bottom of the steps. A grin spread across Mark’s face, “Ty-”.   
Tyler gave a thumbs up, “I’m ok”.  
“Are you sure?”, Mark giggled slightly.  
“Yeah. I’m fine. Is everything alright up there?”  
“Weather’s pretty goo-“  
“No you dumb ass.”


	6. Still no more egg puns

Ethan rested his head on Amy’s shoulder to shield his current state from Mark and Tyler. He was ashamed and embarrassed. He was acting like a fucking baby. He squeezed his eyes shut trying desperately to escape from everything. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. It definitely wasn’t Amy’s hand. Her hands were smaller, more delicate and colder.  
“Eth-”  
“Mark. I’m fine”, he didn’t know what to say but this is what impulsively came out his mouth. He didn’t want to talk to Mark and embarrass himself further.   
“I mean… if this is what fine looks like then-”  
Amy glared at Mark. He was shifting his weight between his legs, moving side to side. Mark hated seeing his friends upset. It just hit different.  
“-Sorry. I’m not great at this. This is one of my very few weaknesses… I honestly don’t know what to say but I want to be here for you because I care about you.”, Mark was trying his best to comfort Ethan. He didn’t want to baby Ethan so he thought it would be best to just be honest.  
“I care about you too!”, Tyler said as he emerged at the top of the stairs.  
“I know I just…”, Ethan turned to face his friends, “I just- I don’t know. I’m really fucking tired. I have barely slept this week and I can’t focus… at all. I’m not motivated enough to make videos and I’m not happy with my content. I just- I’m acting like a fucking child, aren’t I?”  
Mark: “No. You’re actually not.”  
Tyler: “Ethan, one of the most difficult things is being honest about this kind of stuff. So thanks for telling us that. But next time preferably tell us before you get to the point of breaking down on a balcony.”  
They all smiled.  
Mark: “Please don’t think that you’re the only one who feels like this. Everyone has lows in their life and their careers. It’s easier to deal with if you tell other people.”  
Ethan rubbed his eyes and nodded as rain started to sprinkle lightly from the grey sky. The wind had become more harsh, manipulating the rain to feel like small pellets.   
“Can we go inside?”, Ethan asked quietly.  
“No! We must stay outside until we all freeze and get hypothermia and DIE!”, Mark joked. Ethan smiled. That was all that mattered.


	7. Chapter 7

“I mean on the bright side we have a bunch of unused eggs. Anyone hungry?”, Amy asked.  
“Yes please. I don’t think- no- wait- no- yes- no- wait- no I didn’t have breakfast. Maybe that explains why I feel like shit?”, Ethan laughed.  
“Can I also have please?”, Mark asked.  
“Me too?”, Tyler added.  
“I love you Amy.”, Mark called as Amy walked away.  
“Love you too.”  
Mark felt warm inside for a bit. He still loved Amy like a small kid falling for someone for the first time. She always knew what to do and what to say. 

+++

Ethan sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes and lightly slapping himself in the face, “Wake up bitch.”  
Mark stared at him, “Ok I thought I was worried before but now-”.  
They all started to laugh. It was a genuine laugh.   
“Ethan, you live with Kathryn, right?”, Tyler asked.  
“Yeah but she’s not here at the moment. Well not here at Mark’s house or my- her- our house either. She’s visiting her family.”, Ethan was resting his head on a couch pillow which he was hugging. He assured the others that he was still listening even though he had his eyes closed.

Tyler was talking to Mark quietly as they both knew Ethan was exhausted. He had only realised then that Ethan’s eyes had dark circles under them. How didn’t he realise it before? He was starting to have doubts about how good of a friend he was.  
“Tyler?”, Mark waved his hand in front of Tyler’s face.   
“Yeah”  
“I hate to interrupt you, but you’ve been kinda staring at Ethan.”  
“Oh. I was just lost in thought. I feel like we should have noticed.”  
“Noticed what?”  
“That something was wrong.”  
“I mean I agree but don’t get too bogged down about it.”  
“I’m just worried about him.”  
“Yeah… It’s all going to be fine in the end though. Right? I mean we’re all here for each other so it’ll be ok.”  
At this point it was unclear if Mark was reassuring Tyler or himself.


	8. There's an egg pun in here

Amy loved listening to the satisfying crispy crackling of bacon and scrambled eggs on a pan. It smelled really good.   
“Boys come get your eggs!”, she called from the kitchen.  
Tyler came scrambling in (egg puns amiright?).   
“Where are the other two?”  
“Oh yeah”, he walked back into the living room where he’d previously been passing the time by playing on his phone. Ethan and Mark were both asleep on the couch.  
“Guys?”, he walked over to Mark and shook him gently, “Mark, eggs hath been served”.  
Mark rubbed his eyes, “I’ll be there in a sec. You go eat and I’ll wake Ethan up”.   
“You sure?”  
“Yes, I’m sure. I know it’s an impossible task and that’s why I must do it because I’m the greatest and the most amazingest and bestest and-”  
“Yes. Yes. I understand.”, he rolled his eyes and smiled while walking back to the kitchen.

Mark stopped for a second. Ethan looked so peaceful. Just resting. He gently placed a hand on the younger’s shoulder, “Wake up Ethan. You gotta eat some foo-”.  
“Five more minutes”, Ethan pulled his hood over his eyes and buried his face deeper into the pillow.   
“Come on you nee-”  
“I’m tiiiired”  
“Now listen here you little shit”, he laughed.   
“Well I mean now I’m fully convinced. Idk how you are so convincing man”, Ethan stood up and started stretching but lost his balance. Mark grabbed his arm and sat Ethan back down on the couch.  
“Are you fucking drunk?”  
“I don’t think so. I mean I don’t remember anything from last night”, he joked. Then his smile faded, “Actually, I’m very sober. So sober in fact that I don’t remember drinking…”  
“But?”  
“There is no but…”  
“Oh-”  
“But it’s not that I don’t remember drinking any alcohol. I don’t think I’ve drunk anything today… or yesterday… or-”  
“So there was a but!”  
They started laughing again.  
“Seriously man you gotta look after yourself better.”, Mark tried to hide his worry.


	9. Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with the ending.  
> Please feel free to suggest a better one and roast this story.  
> Also feel free to suggest ideas for more fanfics. I'm trying really hard to procrastinate on maths.

By the time the sun said, “fuck this shit I’m out” and the moon rolled around Tyler had left to go home, leaving only Ethan, Mark and Amy at Mark’s house. Ethan had been fed well and hydrated. He was sleeping on the couch when Mark walking into the living room. Mark grabbed a blanket and gently covered Ethan with it then walked to the kitchen to discuss something with Amy. He was really worried about Ethan but didn’t really know how to go about helping him.  
“Amy. What do we do?”, he sighed.  
“We be here for him. We ask him what’s best for him and how we can help him.”  
“Hmm. That makes sense actually. But right now, what do we do?”, Mark had moved over to the sink to help Amy with the washing up.  
“Just let him rest a bit I think.”  
“If he wants to stay over would you be ok with that?”  
She turned to face Mark, surprised that he even needed to ask. “Never. I can’t bare him”, her tone sarcastic.  
“Just wanted to make sure.”

“Hey um…”, Ethan had walked into the kitchen, a blanket wrapped around himself. He looked half asleep, “sorry for-”.  
“Ethan, please stop apologising. Really.”  
“I know its just that… I don’t want to be here and cause any inconvenience”  
“Inconvenience?”, Mark walked over to Ethan and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Why would you think that? Is it because of what I say to you in videos? Is it be-”  
“I- I don’t know”, he refused to look at Mark, just stared blankly at the tiled floor and his socks.  
Speechless. How did this even happen? Why did he feel so guilty? He embraced Ethan. They didn’t hug often but it felt good, almost necessary. He felt bad for not showing Ethan appreciation, kindness or even basic respect often enough. It was all a joke but sometimes he could see that it upset Ethan and a familiar pang of guilt pierced he chest. It was all a joke and Ethan knew that. Right?

“If there’s anything we can do to help out just let us know, ok?”, Amy stated. Her voice was warm and comforting. There was one thing that Ethan wanted but he didn’t want to bother them. There was one thing he was dreading.  
“I don’t want to go home.”  
“That’s ok. You are more than welcome to stay here until you’re ready.”  
Ethan’s head perked up, “really?”.


End file.
